Resident Evil: Retribution

I don’t know why I keep going out to see these movies. They’re so bad. I got over the fact that these films are not going to be accurate representations of the storyline or the atmosphere from the video games, but I always hope that there is going to be more to the story of each film than seeing the director’s wife hyper-stylized into being an action star.

The fight scenes are okay, but it just annoys me how the plot of every single movie has been “we have to get from point A to point B” and then the end of every single film has been “now that we’re at point B we are going to end the movie with a cliffhanger that shows that this is not our final destination and the past ninety minutes that you just spent in the theatre were entirely pointless because nothing was accomplished and there is so much more to the story, but you have to wait until the next film to see that.”

And then the next film rolls around, and there is no story, and nothing ever gets accomplished, ugh. I don’t know why I watched five of these movies. I need to stop.

Paul W.S. Anderson is trying to kill my favorite video game series.

Fuck you and your wife (Milla Jovovich).


Kobe Bryant’s Best and Worst Playoff Series (Part 2)

In order to fully appreciate a player from a historical standpoint, one has to embrace both the highs and the lows of his career.

When it comes to Kobe, a player who entered the NBA as an 18 year old and has since entered the ‘top 5 ever’ discussions, looking at the highs and the lows is not only entertaining – it’s essential.

In Part 1, we looked at Kobe’s 5 WORST Playoff series. For Part 2, here’s a ranking of Kobe’s 5 BEST Playoff series:

5. Playoffs 2008 2nd Round vs. the Utah Jazz: 33.2 ppg, 7.0 rpg, 7.2 apg.

  • Before Game 2 of this series, David Stern handed Kobe’s his first (and so far, only one) regular season MVP Award. In all 6 games, Kobe demonstrated why he was the best and most valuable player in the league. The Lakers won in 6 games, and went on to face the Spurs in the WCF.

4. Playoffs 2009 NBA Finals vs. the Orlando Magic: 32.4 ppg, 7.4 rpg, 5.6 apg.

  • This is still Kobe’s best Finals series, in which he cemented his legacy and finally proved that he can “win a ring without Shaq,” something that idiots had been using to argue against Kobe’s legacy ever since LA traded Shaq to the Miami Heat.

3. Playoffs 2001 Western Conference SemiFinals vs. the Sacramento Kings: 35.0 ppg, 9.0 rpg, 4.3 apg.

  • Many people forget that LA’s best player in the 2001 Playoffs (up until the Finals) was not Shaq. Kobe dominated throughout the whole series, and he saved his best for last: 48 points & 16 rebounds in Game 4 to complete the sweep and move on to the WCF. In my opinion, that game is still Kobe’s best Playoff performance.

2. Playoffs 2001 Western Conference Finals vs. the San Antonio Spurs: 33.0 ppg, 7.0 rpg, 7.0 apg.

  • The whole 2001 Playoffs was Kobe’s coming out party. He completely demolished the team with the best record in the league, and carried the Lakers to the NBA Finals. He played so well that Shaq called him “the best player in the world” and “my idol” in press conferences between games.

1. Playoffs 2010 Western Conference Finals vs. the Phoenix Suns: 33.7 ppg, 7.2 rpg, 8.3 apg.

  • Kobe’s performance in this series was nothing short of brilliant. His averages, his efficiency (.521 FG%, .432 3FG%, .881 FT%), his clutchness, and the amount of ridiculous shots he hit were all off the charts. In a way, it was a payback for the 2 First Round losses by the Suns in 2006 and 2007.

Honorable mention (chronological order):

  • the 2008 First Round vs. the Denver Nuggets: 33.5 ppg, 5.3 rpg, 6.3 apg.
  • the 2009 Western Conference Finals vs. the Denver Nuggets: 34.0 ppg, 5.7 rpg, 6.2 apg.
  • the 2010 Western Conference SemiFinals vs. the Utah Jazz: 32.0 ppg, 3.8 rpg, 5.8 apg.


These series are a true reflection on Kobe’s greatness, work ethic and longevity – his greatest series span anywhere from 2001 to 2010, which a LONG time for a basketball player.


Kobe Bryant’s Best and Worst Playoff Series (Part 1)

In order to fully appreciate a player from a historical standpoint, one has to embrace both the highs and the lows of his career.

When it comes to Kobe, a player who entered the NBA as an 18 year old and has since entered the ‘top 5 ever’ discussions, looking at the highs and the lows is not only entertaining – it’s essential.

So, in Part 1, here are Kobe’s 5 WORST Playoff series:

1. Playoffs 1998 2nd Round vs. the Seattle SuperSonics: 3.7 ppg, 0.7 rpg, 0.0 apg.

  • This is by far the worst series Kobe has ever played. He was sidelined for 2 games because of flu, and in the other 3 games the virus affected his performance so much that people started speculating that the Lakers were better off without him on the floor. Still, the Lakers handled their business and won the series 4-1.

2. Playoffs 1997 2nd Round vs. the Utah Jazz: 8.8 ppg, 1.4 rpg, 1.8 apg.

  • In Game 5, with the Jazz holding a 3-1 series lead, the 18 year old took it upon himself to bring LA to victory – and failed miserably. He shot a couple of airballs which gave the Jazz a 98-93 victory. According to Kobe, this series (especially the way Game 5 ended) was his main motivation for improving his game in the Summer of 1997.

3. Playoffs 1998 Western Conference Finals vs. the Utah Jazz: 10.0 ppg, 1.8 rpg, 1.0 apg.

  • While Kobe was sidelined with flu (see above), the Lakers were rolling and looked like title contenders, ready to challenge the back-to-back champions Chicago Bulls. Kobe’s return, however, pushed Nick Van Exel and Eddie Jones back to their original roles, which ruined the team’s momentum. The Lakers were swept by the Jazz, who lost to the Bulls in 6 games.

4. Playoffs 1997 1st Round vs. the Portland TrailBlazers: 7.5 ppg, 1.0 rpg, 0.5 apg.

  • Though these averages are not any better than the ones mentioned above, considering his role and minutes played, Kobe had a decent series. His FG% was above .500, he didn’t turn the ball over (only 1 tpg), and had 22 points in a Game 4 loss, showing that he has a bright future ahead of him. The Lakers won the series 3-1.

5. Playoffs 1998 1st Round vs. the Portland TrailBlazers: 11.3 ppg, 3.0 rpg, 3.0 apg.

  • Coming from a season that many considered worthy of a 6th Man of the Year Award (finished 2nd in the voting behind Suns’ Danny Manning), Kobe underperformed in the 1st Round of the 1998 Playoffs. Still, the Lakers won the series 3-1.

Honorable mention (chronological order):

  • the 1999 1st Round vs. the Houston Rockets: 18.3 ppg, 7.3 rpg, 5.8 apg.
  • the 2000 NBA Finals vs. the Indiana Pacers: 15.6 pgg, 3.8 rpg, 4.2 apg (got injured in the 1st quarter of Game 2 and was never the same).
  • the 2004 NBA Finals vs. the Detroit Pistons: 22.6 ppg, 2.8 rpg, 4.4 apg (a mix of Pistons’ terrific defense, the Kobe-Shaq beef reaching its apex, and the sexual assault case trial looming).


These series shouldn’t be viewed as a stain on Kobe’s career – in all 8 of them he was either too young/inexperienced, injured/sick, or facing serious off court issues.

These bad performances should be recognized as something that fueled Kobe’s fire through the years, and made him strive to be the best basketball player he can be. Most all-time greats (MJ, Kareem, Wilt, Larry Bird, etc.) never had to go through a transition period where they weren’t “the man” on their teams. In that respect, Kobe’s career is truly one of a kind.


Did Kanye Lose ? Humphries Being Sued For Giving Woman Herpes

It has been revealed that Kim Kardashian ex husband to be, basketball player Kris Humphries, is being sued by a woman who say he allegedly gave her herpes.

The woman, Kayla Goldberg said she met the baller in August 2010 at the Newsroom Cafe in LA. The met up later that night at a club on Sunset Blvd.


(pic of said woman)

After partying, the suit claims the two had sex multiple times at his hotel. This includes multiple sex. During a portion of the sexual encounters, it was said Humphries did not wear a condom.

He didn’t give her any forewarning that he had herpes according to the suit. Goldberg was diagnosed with the STD a week later.

Along with unspecified damages, Goldberg is suing for sexual battery claiming Kris knew he had herpes with the got together and didn’t even tell her.


The number one sin you can commit as a mack

The number one sin you can commit as a mack…the absolute worst thing you can do in your dealings with a female…believe it or not, it ain’t cheating. It’s not playing the role of Captain Save-A- Hoe, though I wouldn’t recommend blowing the dust off that old cape tucked away in the back of your closet. (Hopefully by now you’ve burned that joint to a charred crisp!)

The biggest sin you can commit as a mack is to be boring. That’s right; I said BORING!Nothing will drive a woman away faster; nothing will make her seek the company of another man quicker, than for you to turn into a love song on her.

What I’m talking about here is being predictable; failing to be a challenge anymore; no longer being the mysterious, intriguing guy you were when she first fell for you. There’s a danger that comes once you begin to get comfortable with a female. This is usually when you start letting your Mack guard down. You start falling back into old simpish ways and behavior: phone checks, being quick to answer her every call, spending all your free time around her, questioning her every movement and demanding an account of where she’s been for the past hour…or giving an account of your own whereabouts whenever she asks.

When you’ve put your best Mack moves into practice and snatched yourself a good one, and after you’ve spent some time with her, this is when you are the most vulnerable. This is when a female will really test you to see what you’re made of. That’s why this Macking thing has to be solid down in you. It’s got to become a part of your very DNA. You have to get to the place where you eat, sleep and breathe this Macking!

If you’re play-macking out here, you will get found out. You’re eventually gonna slip; and when you do, instead of the Mack Within coming to the forefront, the Simp Within will show up in his place. And the female you’re dealing with will know that you ain’t true to the game you’ve been spitting. She’ll know you’ve been perpetrating a fraud. And eventually you’ll get dropped like all the other simps. So don’t become a victim of your own lack of discipline! Get this Macking down in you for real, and anchor yourself to it like a ship to the ocean’s floor.

There’s a saying: the things you did to get her are the things you need to do to keep her. This is usually quoted in reference to doing simpish things like buying gifts and flowers; but it’s doubly true when it comes to being a true to the game Mack.

Don’t relax; never let your guard down. Be on the job 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Keep them women guessing about your next move. Keep them intrigued with the level of your wisdom and knowledge. Keep them on their toes when they try throwing temper tantrums on you. Stay looking sharp and dressing fly. And never let them get away with even the subtlest form of disrespect.

And above all: never, ever become boring and predictable.


Your Helpful guide to a successful nightclub outing

• First define what a successful night is for you. Mind would be just a little grinding and maybe 2-3 numbers

• Knowing the type of club your going to be going to is key. This will help you better prepare. Do people get loose at this spot or do they just come out to stunt?

• Have a little fucking rhythm for Christ sakes. If you can dance that’s an easy opener plus some girls can’t dance for shit so if you can guide them through rhythm then that’s an opportunity to pull her over to the side after your done and chat her up for a minute.
+ 1 if you can salsa dance.

• Have fun. It’s the club so relax and smile from time to time. Acting a little silly doesn’t hurt either

• Look fucking presentable and wear some sort of ornament that will make you stand out.(Peacocking) A button up and grey pants are cool.. but you need some sort of ornament that will make it easy for women to start a conversation with you

• If she’s watching her friend grind on some guy hardcore She’s more than likely probably down to do the same so go ahead and grab her wrist like a cave man.

• If she’s standing their staring super hard at the dance floor go ahead and grab her wrist like a caveman

• If dancehall music is playing, go ahead and grab her wrist like a caveman.

• As rude as it might seem… grabbing the wrist lightly nudging her into a dance routine usually works for me 77% of the time (maybe cause I don’t look threatening)

• No what time it is. Anytime before 11.. might be a good time to chat with tons of woman for maybe just a few minutes. After 12:30 it turns into a meat market and a lot of times everything is up for grabs (depending on what time the club closes) Plus you can go back to those girls you comfort built with earlier and Bam… your in!

• Don’t approach from behind unless the atmosphere is conducive to that situation. Girls get startled easily so its best to approach from an angle

• If you’re grinding with a girl and you notice through her body language that she’s into you.. Pull her to the side and chat her up some more..i.e Are those your friends? Is that Coral or pink? Are you into Rhythmic Gymnastics?

• Keep that drink in hand. You can get away with a lot when you have a drink in hand

• Dont fear rejection..just wipe it off and move on to the next one. This one chick told me that she had a boyfriend and proceeded to tell me how cool she thought I was….I was like “haha your good… you don’t have to give me an explanation” and then I dipped out. The quicker you can shake it off… the faster you can move on

• Approach like a long-lost friend and not a thirsty nigga.. Compliment her style game without complimenting her physically.

And Fellas… this is a constructive thread So add your tips, tricks and advice…
Nothing is 100% but the more you know the better you can prepare…..Each one teach one!

• oh lastly… Always bring a stack of mints! I stay with a shitload of certs in my back pocket.



Summer is winding down and that means The Experience is back in action. It has been a crazy summer of sports including some major blockbuster deals L.A, such as Dwight Howard, to Steve Nash, to Hanley Ramirez. Also the Olympics in London were a huge hit, and a wonderful joy to watch. Here is a check in with my two teams.

Green Bay Packers

The Packers are well into training camp, but have been unlucky in the injury department. More than 20 Packers did not participate in the team’s first preseason game in San Diego which was pretty much a disaster. Desmond Bishop was lost for what is looking to be the whole year with a hamstring issue, and Davon House was lost for 2 to 3 weeks with a shoulder sprain. Also the team did not look as if they learned from their postseason defeat to the Giants, as the suffered a total of 4 turnovers. Aaron Rodgers backup Graham Harrell did not preform well to say the least. He struggled to hit any of his receivers, brining up the question of QB depth this season. But hey, no need to get worried, it’s just the PRESEASON.

Los Angeles Lakers

This summer Mitch Kupchack ensured his status among all time great GM’s in basketball history. The Lakers needed a revamp and boy did he deliver. Mitch started off the summer by executing a sign and trade with Phoenix Suns to bring hall of fame point guard Steve Nash to the rival Los Angeles Lakers to finish his career. With Nash the Lakers get one of the game’s all time great facilitators, who can exploit teams with the pick and roll, and outside shooting. Nash immediately turned the Lakers back into title contenders. Mitch however, wasn’t satisfied. Next, the savvy vet Antwan Jamison was brought in to provide a scoring presence off the bench. Like Nash, Jamison is in his late 30’s, but that’s not to say he doesn’t have anything left in the tank. This seemed to cap the Lakers offseason after about a 3 week time period went by with no more additions. There were rumors of Dwight coming to the Lakers, but no deal ever materialized.

But then on August 15th, when it seemed as if Dwight would be stuck in Orlando for another season, the Lakers shocked the basketball world by stealing another all-star center from the Orlando Magic for pretty much biscuits and gravy.

I know Andrew Bynum is a all-star, but looking at it from the Magic standpoint, the Lakers got a hell of deal for the 6 time all-star. Dwight will probably miss about a month, as he is still recovering from back surgery, but when he gets back I don’t see any team capable of stopping this Lakers team. Howard’s presence on the defensive end of the floor can not be matched by anyone in the NBA. Sure Andrew Bynum had some good defensive showings, but it seemed like it was a rare occurrence. This is what separates Andrew and Dwight, as Howard has more than enough of an offensive game to match Bynum’s. And finally the Mitch finished dinner by bringing in sharp shooter Jodie Meeks from the Sixers to add shooting and scorer to the bench.

All I can say is this,be afraid.


Be very afraid.

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