The Cabin In The Woods Review

The really neat thing about Cabin in the Woods is how wildly fresh it is. I have yet to see a movie since Scream that has bended the boundaries like this movie has. What Scream 4 could not accomplish last year, Cabin did. And surprisingly enough, Cabin was finished before Scream 4 even had a solid script down. I’m really glad Lionsgate got ahold of this film, because they really know how to market a horror film, and I usually have faith with their choices in modern horror.

When I go into a horror movie, I look for a few things.

1) Does it scare me? Most horror movies now and days don’t really terrify me, so this bullet point is usually missed. Did Cabin in the Woods really scare me? Not really, but I did get that rush that I normally don’t feel in modern American horror. That exciting, on the edge of your seat, what’s going to happen next heart pounding excitement that a horror movie should give you. Cabin works it.

2) Does it surprise me? I’m not talking about those cheap thrills where everything is silent and then there is the loudest noise possible that sends you fleeing from your chair and spilling your popcorn all over the person in front of you. I mean true shock, the shock that gets you looking over at your movie buddy, both mouths open, speechless. Not knowing what’s going to happen next, and then when it happens you realize that deep down it’s the only way it could have happened. Yet again, Cabin gets this element of surprise just right. I didn’t see it coming, and yet the answer seems so simple.

3) Are there buckets of gore? I get serious about my bloody body parts. I am one that will firmly state that Hostel is not as gory as it appears. The camera shakes, it flashes away when anything happens, and the only thing I can say was “gory” was the eyeball scene. Not to rag on Hostel, but this is how a lot of gore goes down now and days in Hollywood so that can get a cushy R rating. Either way, I’d prefer gallons of phony gore than grotesque mutilations I can’t even see. Cabin is fabulously gory. The amount of blood and guts spilled everywhere is intensely fun.

and finally 4) Is it original? The reason I was a such a fan of Insidious last year, was because unlike many phantom paranormal films now and days, it was genuinely scary in the first two acts, and then in the third it did something surprising — it parodied itself. It was very slight, so that the average audience member maybe didn’t realize it, but I had a good laugh as the movie played with the average horror confinements. Cabin does this as well, but even better. It felt so original in its execution. I not once was bored by the plot. I suppose this means if you want to make an original horror movie in Hollywood lately, you have to spruce up the horror genre a bit. Make it entertaining. Tell the audience what they always pay money to watch, but don’t make it so obvious that we’re all getting a lesson in traditional horror themes (ahem Scream 4). I loved Cabin for its original parody of a  story, very much like why I loved Scream when I first saw it. And even more important, I was never, not once, bored.

I really don’t want to spoil anything about this movie.The twists are grander than any horror film I’ve seen in a while, and it was also super entertaining. The first act is fairly average horror set up, but if you’re not watching or listening close enough you’ll miss a lot of information, that once the second act hits make so much sense. The final third act is a drenching blood bath filled with terrors like you’ve never seen before.

There are a few things about this movie that were a little off, but the overall appeal of it makes up for the tiny let downs. Just go see it, spoiler free (I cannot stress that one enough), and sit back, relax, and enjoy the blood soaked ride that is coming your way. There’s really no other way to enjoy this movie. It’s entertainment at its best, for sure.


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